Goethe made a rather profound statement when he said, "If I treat you as you are, you will remain as you are. If I treat you as if you were what you could be, that is what you will become." Those words of long ago express in a unique way what love is about. As I reread them for the umpteenth time, I think of the love in a family and the way we see each other. Looking at your mate as alive, well, and alert rather than nosy, or seeing him or her as exercising good judgment and thrift instead of being shallow and stingy, will have a profound impact on your relationship. If you think of your mate as being expressive instead of talkative, and if you consider him or her sensitive and caring rather than touchy, your respect and admiration for your mate will grow, and you will develop a deeper love, appreciation, and understanding of him or her.
When you take that approach, you will have mastered one of the great lessons of life--namely, that when you love someone, you do not react to the symptoms of behavior, but you respond to the need that your mate might have. In this process you will learn that love will always give you the benefit of the doubt. Over a period of time you will realize that you do that not because you want to do what is right, but because you have become that kind of person.
The underlying message behind all of this is that you can change, and in the process you will have a substantial influence on the life of the other person. Each of you will win, and as a couple, you will win. That's the way to beat the daily grind.
If He Can, You Can
Kacey McCallister lives in Keizer, a suburb of Salen, Oregon. He plays basketball, and in baseball he has been catcher and covered positions at first base and in the outfield. His play was so spectacular that a Little League team in North Carolina dedicated its season to him, and disabled Boy Scouts in Georgia were inspired by him. People all over America have been inspired by Kacey, who lost both legs at the hip when he was run over by a truck a few years ago.
He does all of those things by propelling himself with his arms. He has a tremendous attitude and a determination to live as any other youngster wants to live, and the nation is applauding him. CNN sent a crew to the family's home to do a story on him. Kacey said he was more motivated than ever: "I want to show them that I really can do all this stuff."
In today's world when too many people complain about everything, here's a role model who is determined to make the most of life. Where do his drive, commitment, and enthusiasm for life come from? I suspect his mother and father are much of the source of his inspiration. Instead of spoiling him by catering to his whims and allowing him to feel sorry for himself, they've made the wise choice of encouraging him to believe in himself and letting him do everything he can do, while still being available to help when it is required. That's love in action, and the results are spectacular.