Inner Wisdom

The time to be happy is now.

''Your success and happiness lie in you.  External conditions are the accidents of life.
The great enduring realities are love and service.  Joy is the holy fire that keeps
our purpose warm and our intelligence aglow.  Resolve to keep happy, and your joy
and you shall form an invincible host against difficulty.''  Helen Keller.

1. Appreciate what you have. – If we counted our blessings instead of our money, we would all be a lot richer.  Happiness is there if you want it to be.  You just have to see that it’s wrapped in beauty and hidden delicately between the seconds of your life.  If you never stop for a minute to notice, you might miss it.  
   
2. Focus on things that truly matter. – The simple fact that you are even here, alive, on this planet is a divine miracle, and you should not spend the time you have being busy, being miserable.  Every moment you get is a gift, so stop focusing on unhappy things, and spend your moments on things that truly matter to your heart.
3. Define your own meaning of life, and pursue it. – What is the meaning of life?  Whatever you want it to be.  Don’t fear failure; fear a lifetime of mediocrity due to lack of effort and commitment.  There are so many people out there who will tell you that you CAN’T.  What you need to do is turn around and say,  ''Watch me!''
   
4. Embrace life’s challenges. – You may think that taking a detour in life is a waste of time and energy, but you can also see the detour as a means of learning more about who you are and where you are heading in your life.  Being off the beaten path may be disorienting and confusing at times, yet it challenges your creative spirit to discover new ways to build a stronger YOU.  In the end, it’s usually the tough situations that feel like your tomb that actually become your cocoon.  Hang in there.  You’re coming out of this stronger and wiser.
5. Find the balance that allows you to be who you truly are. – Your worst battle is between what you know and what you feel.  One of the hardest decisions you will ever have to make is when to stay put and try harder or when to just take your memories and move on.  Sometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you are capable of being, and the person you truly are.
6. Love your body enough to take care of it. – You’re beautiful; but keep in mind that not everyone is going to see that.  Never be ashamed of yourself because you are born into one skin.  You can scar it, stretch it, burn it, mark it, tan it, and peel it.  But you are always in it, so you might as well take care of it and learn to love it.  
   
7. Limit your time with negative people. – You can’t make positive choices for the rest of your life without an environment that makes those choices easy, natural, and enjoyable.  So protect your spirit and potential from contamination by limiting your time with negative people.  

Be Love.

• LOVE BEGINS WITH YOU: Your inner voice is where your story of love begins: It is hard to feel worthy of love if someone is criticizing you all the time and especially if that someone is talking in your head. Stop self-loathing; it’s a waste of time. Stop comparing yourself to others and feeling like a victim. Dare to be proud of yourself, look for your strengths, watch for the negative talk and stop it.
• GRATITUDE REFLECTION:   Like any muscle, the heart get stronger with exercise. Gratitude reflection is a great exercise for opening the heart. Take two minutes each morning when you open your eyes and two minutes each night right before you close them to give thanks. Just go through the list of all the things you are grateful for—beginning with your ability to feel gratitude for the job that gets you out of bed each morning.
• DECLARE LOVE:  Give passion to everything in your life. Love your walks, your gardening, your age, the family you created, the weather patterns where you live. Grab onto it all as if you might lose it. See through a child’s eyes. Be thrilled and excited about life. Find miracles everywhere. Use the word love more often when describing aspects of your life.
• LITTLE IS BIG: A big heart is full of endless possibilities to show love in little ways.  Engage in small acts of kindness that cost little money, if any, and take little time. It is amazing how effective small acts of kindness are and how long they are remembered. Open doors, smile, call a friend that is hurting, put a card in the mail, pick up an extra coffee, make “just because” gestures part of your daily life. Don’t think it, do it! And yes, we all have more time for this than we know.
• LOVE LIKE THE OCEAN: You have the ability to love like the seven seas reaching around the world and back. And like the ocean putting passion into each and every wave, all your love matters and makes a difference. We are all capable of grand love.
• THINK HAMMER INSTEAD OF NAIL: At some time in our lives we will all experience pain and hardships. These experiences hurt and lead us to build walls around us to protect us from others. Yet, pain and hardship are great tools for opening the heart. You must have courage and strength and allow your hardships to open the flow of love in your life.
• UNDERSTAND MOTHER NATURE: Mother Nature bestowed us with romantic love so we can reproduce, maternal/paternal love so we can care for the next generation and friendship so we can connect and protect one another. However, in addition to the bonding gift of emotional love, Mother Nature intended love to serve us in many ways. One way is by easing anxiety. The next time you find yourself in a situation with a coworker, stuck in traffic or angry at a stranger, stay in the love. Witness how calmly your body reacts and how much more you can handle in your life.
• CUT OTHERS A BREAK: Most people are coming from a place of exhaustion and/or feeling unappreciated. People are overwhelmed and lonely, and Emotions 101 is not taught in any school. Regardless of how easy someone’s life may appear, they have their personal hardships. Simply cut them a break.
• REMOVE THE DEBRIS: Think of a river heading home to the sea. As she voyages forward her journey is hampered if debris gets in her way and clogs her up. Anger, resentment, fear, judgment and blame are debris hampering the flow of love in your life. Self reflect, take responsibility and open your heart to love. You can find tools to release the debris by reading books, watching lectures, praying, forgiving others.
• LET GO: Many people rarely if ever hear the words, I love you. It can be scary and awkward, but the more you say it the easier it gets. Just say: I love you to your mother, father, sister, brother, friend, anyone you love. End conversations with I love you. Just see how good it feels and how well it is accepted. Witness the love being returned to you.

Tricia Lavoice.

If you truly want to change your life, you must first change your mind. You must free it from the restrictive thinking that holds you back.

Do not dwell so much on creating your perfect life that you forget to live.

At the end of the day, you can either focus on what’s tearing you apart or what’s holding you together.

Sometimes our greatest insight comes from our failure, not from our accomplishments.

It’s not the mistakes and failures you have to worry about, it’s the opportunities you miss when you don’t even try that hurt the most.

Focus your conscious mind on things you desire not things you fear.  Doing so brings dreams to life.

A loving, happy person lives in a loving, happy world.  A hateful, miserable person lives in a hateful, miserable world.  The world around you reflects YOU.

The unhappiest people in this world are the people who care the most about what everyone else thinks.

Stay true to yourself.  Never be ashamed of doing what feels right.  Decide what you think is right and stick to it.

You are what you do today, not what you say you’ll do tomorrow.

You are only destined to become one person – the person you decide to be.

The Law of Mirrors.

Karma

When people insult you , don't take offense, don't take it personally,but do listen to their words.

They are telling you how they see the world, and they are telling you the exact negative qualities that they possess.

''The Law of Mirrors'' states that one can only see what's in them,regardless if it is what is actually present in reality or not.

Release the need to defend or try to explain to them that you're not being whatever nasty-insult- they've -thrown at you, but evaluate instead all of these insults, and realize that this is who they are.

Then decide if a person with those qualities is one who you'd like in your life or not.

The question "Is this an act of self-love or is it an act of self-sabotage?" is
one you must consistently ask yourself if you are committed to having all
that you want and all that you deserve.  When you love yourself you feel
worthy and deserving of claiming the gifts of this world.  Self-love gives you
peace of mind and balance.  Self-love gives you self-respect and the ability
to respect others.  It gives you the confidence to stand up and ask for what
you want.  Self-love is the main ingredient in a successful, fulfilled life.

Debbie Ford

 

Perspective.

Problems arise, though, when others want us to see the world their way, or when we get disappointed that others don't see the world our way.  This tendency of ours shows a lack of respect for the perspectives of others, and this lack of respect seems to have become the norm in our debates about politics, finances, environmental issues, education--you name it.  And we spend a lot of time being stressed out and feeling bad because others simply don't see things our way; we try to plan ways to convince them to agree with us instead of saying quite simply, "Of course they don't see things our way--nor should they!"

It is the mind which creates the world around us, and even though we stand side by side in the same meadow, my eyes will never see what is beheld by yours, my heart will never stir to the emotions with which yours is touched. George Gissing

We can make our lives much simpler and much more agreeable if we can keep in mind that another person's disagreement with us is simply that--a disagreement, and something that is completely natural.  Sometimes we complicate life by reading things into another person's perspective that really isn't there.  When we allow ourselves to try to understand another person's perspective rather than judging their actions based on our perspectives, then we can keep ourselves from trudging down the road of disappointment and judgment. We can also help ourselves in our lives by remembering that our perspectives are not chiseled in stone--they're the result of dealings that we've had with other people, and things that we've learned from them.  The fact that we've learned something from our parents, for example, doesn't make that something the gospel truth, and eventually we may meet someone else who teaches us something completely new that our parents never knew, and that changes our perspective significantly as long as we allow the changes to come.

A child on a farm sees a plane fly overhead and dreams of a faraway place. A traveler on the plane sees the farmhouse and dreams of home. Carl Burns

Sometimes we get so caught up in what we think we want that we're unable--or we refuse--to see just how positive things are in our lives.  Carol Burns points out that two people can look at each other or their situations and wish for what the other one has, while not keeping in mind that what they have is pretty positive, too.  The person who is lonely and wishes for companionship doesn't keep in mind that the ability to be alone is something that others long for; those who are in relationships but long for the independence to spend time on their own, traveling or reflecting or doing some of the many other things that are best done on one's own, often undervalue the positive side of the relationship.

When we do realize that we shape reality by how we see it, we also realize that reality shifts in nature as our perspectives grow and develop, and that we can live in a beautiful world that is giving and caring just by changing the way that we see this world, and by accepting the fact that others see the same things that we do in completely different ways--and that's okay.

Tom Walsh

Your life is a living expression of who you know yourself to be, regardless of what others think or see.

 Most of the good things you do will go unnoticed by others.  Do them anyway, because you will notice.  Many of the contributions you make will not be fully realized by others.  Make them anyway, because you realize they are the right things to do.  It’s great when you receive recognition for the things you do, yet even when there is no possibility of recognition, YOU still recognize the reasons you are putting forth the effort.  Your honest, authentic view of yourself influences all that you do.  And that view is formed mainly during times when no one is watching.  Your life is a living expression of who you know yourself to be, regardless of what others think or see.

It’s OK to let some people walk away. – You don’t have control over the things people say about you, but you do have control over how you decide to internalize it.  Leave people to their opinions and judgments.  Let them love you for who you are, and not for who they want you to be.  Or let them walk away if they choose.  They can’t harm you either way; it’s their understanding that is faulty, not yours.

Challenges are simply opportunities. – When you encounter resistance, it means you are moving forward.  When you come across a challenge, it means you have reached an opportunity for growth.  Life becomes more rewarding as it becomes more demanding.  Each new challenge is an opportunity to stretch beyond your previous limits.  Most of the advantages you enjoy today were born in the difficulties through which you once traveled.  So revel in the beauty of each challenging effort.  Give your best to life, and life will return the favor many times over.

There’s a lot to appreciate in this moment. – Your journey will be much lighter and easier if you don’t try to carry your entire past and future around with you.  Take a break.  Let go of your obsession with yesterday’s struggles and tomorrow’s to-do list, and simply enjoy the beauty of what’s right here, right now.  Sometimes you have to stop thinking that some new richness will fulfill you, so you can fully experience the richness that's already yours.

Pic @The Sarojin Hotel in Phang Nga, Thailand.

I've Learned...

• that when you're in love, it shows.
• that just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.
• that being kind is more important than being right.
• that you should never say no to a gift from a child.
• that I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
• that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
• that sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
• that it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
• that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
• that to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
• that when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
• that love, not time, heals all wounds.
• that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
• that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
• that opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
• that when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
• that I wish I could have told my Dad that I love him one more time before he passed away.
• that one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
• that a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
• that I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.
• that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
• that it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life threatening situation. 

by Andy Rooney.

Just like the seasons, you have the ability to change.

Focus on things that make you the most YOU – that bring out the best of you, that make you better than you were yesterday, and that allow you to shine your light into the space around you.

 The things you think about, focus on, and surround yourself with ultimately shape who you become.  

 Just because something isn’t happening for you right now, doesn’t mean it will never happen.

 In every situation you have ever been in, positive or negative, the one common thread is you.  Responsibility means recognizing that regardless of what has happened up to this point in your life, you are capable of making choices to change your situation, or to change the way you think about it.

You can choose to let your past define you and confine you, or you can choose to learn, grow, and leave it behind you.  Just like the seasons, you have the ability to change. 

Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, think about what you have that everyone else is missing.

The Art of Acceptance.

To move forward in life you must first accept the reality of what it is. To wish that things were different, or to pretend that they are, gets you nowhere. Today you have all the possibilities in front of you to move in the direction of your dreams.

Radical Acceptance says that life works better when you accept people for who they are, without judgment.  Once you have done that you can then act accordingly.What does that mean? 

  How many of us see,not the person in front of us, but the person we expect to see.  Then we act as if they are how we expect to see them.  And, sure enough, we come to grief.

Come to know them through their actions, accept without judgment and act accordingly.  If the other is a controlling person, then I know I will either need to let go my need for control or be prepared for a battle of wills.  If the other is chronically late, then need to invite them early to events, be prepared to start without them or wait.  In any case, to get upset is to pretend they are someone different.

''I started to discover the meaning of happiness when I started to discover--and practice--the art of acceptance.  When I started to accept life for what it was and I started to accept whatever situation I was in as the way things were, I started to see that my happiness depended on my own attitude.  When I started focusing on getting the most out of my life the way it was rather than trying to turn it into what I thought it should be, I started to realize that I was, indeed, becoming a much happier person.''

Tom Walsh

If you wish abundance, appreciate life.

''There cannot be a sense of abundance or the experience of prosperity without appreciation.  You cannot find beauty unless you appreciate beauty. You cannot find friendship unless you appreciate others.  You cannot find love unless you appreciate loving and being loved. If you wish abundance, appreciate life. ''William R. Miller

Appreciation unlocks doors and windows, quite simply.  When we appreciate things, we allow those things to have positive effects on us, and we let more of those things (as well as similar ones) into our lives.  We're also much more likely to take those things seriously and try to maintain them and keep them as positive parts of our lives when we feel and show our appreciation for them.  This goes for people, things, pets, and even concepts such as freedom and friendship--their worth increases in our lives in proportion to the appreciation we show for them.